


Landscape

by Hawkgay



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Adopted Children, Domestic Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Kid Fic, M/M, Not Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Past Relationship(s), Post-Avengers (2012), SHIELD Husbands, oc child - Freeform, watch as the author fights their own brain to even write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-04
Updated: 2017-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-12 21:37:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7950034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hawkgay/pseuds/Hawkgay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As he walked Clint became aware of the familiar prickle of someone watching him. Nonchalantly he looked around trying to pin point the source, other than an old woman the street was empty. Then Clint caught a flash of something in the corner of his eye, a tiny face poked from behind a wall. He relaxed, it had only been a child. He should be going back to the safe house for check in but something about the haunted look in the kid's eyes made Clint move slowly closer. Once a yard away from them he crouched down and waited. Cautiously a girl crept out of her hiding place, her appearance shocked him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. She can't see the landscape anymore It's all painted in her grief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd 
> 
> Name and chapter titles from Florence and the Machine's Landscape

The snow started falling heavier as Clint finished the recon part of his mission, Chitauri tech was starting to flood the black market. Shield had tracked down some rare and dangerous items in the possession of the Russian mob, stuff that could harm a lot of people. Normally Natasha would've been sent with Clint, she had the contacts to finish things quickly while he acted as backup. Except ever since New York he'd avoided any mission he couldn't do on his own. Right now he needed the alone time to grieve, the shock of losing Phil still echoed within him. It felt like an eternity since he'd been ripped from Clint when only a month had gone by. He didn't know how much longer he could take the loneliness of the now empty farmhouse they'd bought together or just the sense of missing an extremity. Christ they should be planning their 10th wedding anniversary instead Clint ended up arranging a funeral. Throwing himself into his work being the only solace he could find. Running from his problems rarely solved anything but it was getting him through the day.

Clint weaved around the small amount of foot traffic in the sleepy little town Shield had led him to. The warehouse holding the alien tech found easily once his boots hit the ground and he was able to do what came naturally to him. As he walked Clint became aware of the familiar prickle of someone watching him. Nonchalantly he looked around trying to pinpoint the source, other than an old woman the street was empty. Then Clint caught a flash of something in the corner of his eye, a tiny face poked from behind a wall. He relaxed, it had only been a child. He should be going back to the safe house for check in but something about the haunted look in the kid's eyes made Clint move slowly closer. Once a yard away from them he crouched down and waited. Cautiously a girl crept out of her hiding place, her appearance shocked him. Obviously underweight she wore a thin cotton nightdress way to big for her small frame, bruises mottled most of the poor thing's uncovered skin. Chestnut hair listlessly hung in tangles halfway down her back framing the terrified face of a child. Whoever looking after her were doing a crappy job, unwashed and malnourished she appeared ready to bolt.

Remembering the Russian taught to him by Natasha he asked, “do you have a family little one?”

She shook her head and forlornly looked behind her towards a crumbling building, judging by the fences surrounding it and the scattering of broken toys it was probably an orphanage. Joy. Going for a different approach he inquired something different. “My name is Clint little one, you shouldn't talk to strangers unless you know them but now you know my name. What is yours?” it sounded something a child predator would say but this girl had been lucky to run into him.

She thought for a moment before in a quiet voice replied, “I don't have one.” her face fell as the words left her mouth. Obviously something else was going on here. And holy shit those words were heartbreaking, this tiny bundle of adorableness looked so crestfallen because no one had taken a moment to give her an equally cute name.

“can I hold your hand? I want to make sure you arrive home safe.”

Shaking her head vigorously tears started to stream down her cheeks, he knew that reaction. It came from the fear of being punished for being a person. Clint picked the girl up and hugged her against his chest, “it's okay, I'm gonna make sure no one ever hurts you again. Trust me alright?”

Keeping the precious cargo safe Clint marched towards the shit hole that had failed this little girl. Kids always got to him. He didn't care about the mission at that moment all he could think of was the tiny sobs wracking through the girl in his arms. Soon he'd made it to the door and opened it, this place stank of neglect. The paint peeling off the walls and the carpet worn threadbare. Broken toys lay abandoned on the floor. A young woman sat at a reception desk, smoke curling from the cigarette held in her fingers. Smiling Clint walked towards her and put on the old spy charm.

“Excuse me Miss? May I speak with the head of this fine institute”

“She's busy, come back another day” Clint could tell from the bored tone she was lying.

He pushed past her and barged straight into the Matron's office. Disgust swept over him as he noticed the room had been impeccably decorated. Showing the true motives of its owner. At her desk the fat old Matron shouted into the phone over when the next shipment would depart. Shifting the girl to his other arm Clint snatched the phone from the Matron and slammed it down on to it's receiver. Pure rage fueled him.

 As he talked Clint's voice came out low and deadly “Now dear, I'm not a happy person. I found this kid on the street covered in bruises. She told me she doesn't have a name. I'm going to give you a chance to explain yourself. I would not waste it because I am a very dangerous man. Give me answers and you leave here alive”

Peering at the child she brushed him off “Oh her. Parents dropped her off last year without leaving any documentation. The note left with her said something about something evil within her. Bad luck following her wherever she goes. They were right, she scares the other children so we keep her separate from them.” she took a breath before spitting out the last bit “That beast doesn't deserve pity”

“Fuck You, if you really don't care about this kid I'm taking her. Understand this I'm coming back and when I do you better hope I'm alone cause I know a woman who doesn't take kindly to people hurting little girls.”

Storming out the hell hole of an orphanage Clint realized he'd gone right off book. Shit he pretty much just adopted a kid on impulse. How was he gonna finish his mission with a little girl depending on him. Phil had been talking about children months before he died, it was something Clint always wanted. Both of them unwilling to sit back from the job to allow another person into their family. Hell even now it was bad timing, Shield needed him and the Avengers would at a drop of a hat. How would Clint fit this little bundle into his shitty life. The kid had fallen asleep at some point during the walk to the safe house. Her tear stained face softened by exhaustion, she was a cute girl. Adorable little button nose, a round face with a small pointy chin and eyes that rivaled Bambi's. For the first time since he lost Phil Clint felt at peace. His heart no longer screamed in agony and the warmth of love replaced it. He'd make it work just to give this girl the world and to see her smile.

  


The safe house was more of a safe room, it had a kitchenette and a small dining table. The décor was dated but it had heating and a decent bathroom. The first thing Clint did when he came in was to get the girl washed and in clean clothes. She didn't seem to mind him bathing her and then spending an hour de-tangling her hair. The exhaustion of the day probably. Clint dressed her in one of his spare t shirts and tucked her into the only bed. Leaving him to get down to business. Here came the tricky part, Clint couldn't just call his new handler and tell him he'd adopted a stray kid. The dude was too entrenched in climbing the Shield ladder, he'd roll on Clint if he thought he'd get a promotion. This left Clint with one person to contact. Fury would understand or at least not yell too much. He also really needed to think of a name for her, he couldn't just keep calling her the kid or girl but that could wait after the phone call from hell. Picking up his Shield issued cell phone Clint punched in Fury's private line. It rang for a few moments before being answered.

“Please tell me this is important Barton, I'm a busy man.” Fury snapped

“Yeah, I need backup. A minor hiccup came up and I can no longer do the mission”

“Didn't fall off another building did you?”

“No, um I kinda found a kid who's been pretty badly neglected and I kinda may have adopted her.”

“God Fucking Damn it Barton. We can't rescue every sad child we come across. Shield is not an adoption agency”

“I know, I messed up but I'm calling in my favor. I want to keep her. She's undocumented so technically Shield can make up an identity for her. If you don't do it for me do it for Phil.” a low card to deal but he needed to get Fury understand this wasn't a passing fancy.

“Fine, congratulations Barton. It's a girl. I'm sending Romanoff your way, she'll be there in the morning. In the meantime start choosing the details, we'll need to do this quickly to remain unnoticed and off Shield's books.”

“Thanks Fury, I really mean it. I'll start doing that now.” the phone went dead in Clint's ear. One hurdle over about a million more to go. He shimmied on to the bed, taking care to not wake the sleeping girl. She snuggled closer to him. Stroking her hair Clint spent until the early hours thinking of what to name her. As day broke he'd finalized his choice. A text notified him of Natasha's arrival. Gently Clint padded to the door and opened it. She stood there unimpressed with two cups of to go coffee in her hands, he brings his finger up to his lips to signal to keep quiet. Opening the door wide enough to let her in Clint goes to check on the kid. Still out like a light.

In the corner Natasha had claimed for herself she inspected Clint's new daughter from afar. Finally happy the kid was not gonna wake up he sat across from Nat. She passed one of the cups to him and for the first time since this op started Clint took a sip of real fucking coffee. As he basked in the caffeinated bliss Natasha broke him out of it.

“Cute kid, seems you have a thing for Russian girls”

“Only cause my first one was so adorable.”

“I'm adorable and deadly, get it right”

“how could I forget.”

The soft sound of a cry alerted Clint that the kiddo had woken up, he quickly rushed over to her and picked her up. She quieted down as soon as she was in his arms, his Shield t shirt swamping her. Taking her over to Nat he whispered into her ear “everything is fine sweetie, this is your Auntie Natasha. She's here to help me take you home with me if you want to of course.”

He smiled as she nodded and a tiny voice whispered in Clint's ear “I wanna go”

“Awesome, now I can't keep calling you kid so would you like to hear your new name” She nodding even harder like a bobble head, he beamed. His daughter was friggin precious. “from this day forward you are Margaret Feather Barton or Maggie for short. You like it?” Maggie grinned and for a moment it took Clint's breath away. He'd fallen head over heels for her. Taking his place back across from Nat he sat Maggie on his lap as they filled out the paperwork so she could come home.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really hope you like this, I tried really hard on it.  
> Little notes Maggie is named after Peggy Carter cause Clint wanted to memorialize Phil's nerdy hobby. and because he can call her Magpie.
> 
> I really should be writing another fic but this one hit me pretty hard and I had to get it down while fresh
> 
> please leave Kudos and Comments


	2. Now all of the landscape, it's just an empty place Acres of longing, mountains of tenderness

Clint unlocked his front door and pushed it open, clutching tightly to his right hand Maggie allowed him to lead her into the old farmhouse. She eyed her surroundings suspiciously as Clint let the door slam behind him, dropping the luggage in his other hand by it. The smell of food wafted from the kitchen freezing Clint in place, for a moment he was back in the past, that he would walk in there and find Phil cooking dinner. Like he used to do after long missions and they both had time off. It hurt to remember the truth, Phil was never coming home, never going cook for Clint again and never meet Maggie. He shook himself out of it, breaking down now would not be an option.

Instead Clint squatted down in front of Maggie, instead of being swamped in one of his old shirts Natasha had gone shopping and bought her some clothes. She now wore a dark purple dress with black leggings and a pair of mini doc Martens. At some point Clint needed to go shopping for not only more clothes but toys and other essentials. The bruises covering her body had faded in the week Maggie had been in his care. Keeping eye contact he said “Okay kiddo, this is your new home. Treat it as such. I'm not gonna get mad if you make a mess or yell at you. just tell me if you need anything. Understand?”

“Kay” she replied quietly.

“well then Maggie it's time you to meet your other Auntie. She's come a long way so she can see you.” He gave her a reassuring smile and waited for her to return it before moving.

Walking into the kitchen Clint saw his sister stirring a pot at the stone, back to them, soft music drifted from the small radio Phil had insisted on. Clint thanked the heavens Laura Barton being the responsible one of the two siblings. She'd dropped everything after Clint phoned her in Russia to come help him with Maggie. She knew more about kids due to her job as an elementary school teacher. In the few hours Laura had spent in the house she'd already cleaned up the majority of the mess Clint left behind and started on dinner with whatever stuff left in the fridge. He'd barely been back since New York, it being too quiet and haunted by the past. She turned around and smiled widely as she spotted Maggie. Walking around the kitchen island Laura mirrored what Clint did earlier and squatted down to kiddo's eye level.

“Hi, I'm your Auntie Laura. It's nice to meet you” She held out a hand and waited for Maggie to shake it. Clint acted as translator so his daughter could understand. Maggie shyly smiled at her and hid behind his legs.

“Sorry, she only knows Russian and the few English words I taught her.” Maggie knew a grand total of 3 words in English and like with most children they were all swear words.

“She'll pick up English in no time, kids are learning sponges at this age. Dinner is ready so just sit down at the table, I hope chicken casserole is okay for everyone”

“that should be fine” Dislodging Maggie from his legs Clint herded her towards the kitchen table. He slid a chair out from under the table and helped Maggie up. As he took the seat next to her Laura carefully carried the aromatic pot of food and placed it in front of them. Grabbing a bowl Clint spooned a small amount into it while Laura brought the rest of the dishes. He finished serving Maggie and helped himself, only starting to eat when everyone had been provided for. Stealthily Clint watched Maggie from the corner of his eye, she eyed her food cautiously then grabbed a spoon and scooped up a tiny amount. She sniffed it and then licked it gingerly, Maggie's eyes lit up in enjoyment before shoveling huge spoonfuls into her mouth. Clint turned to Laura to see an expression of shock on her face.

“It's like she's never had a decent meal before” She exclaimed in surprise.

“probably hasn't, when I picked her up the orphanage they'd cared so little about her they hadn't even bothered to give her a name. I don't even know how old she is cause whoever dumped her there didn't leave a birth certificate, me and Nat just ended up guessing and saying 5”

“She's 6, spent enough time teaching children that age to know on sight when I meet any kids.

Her past is depressing though, poor kid. I'm glad you found her, after what both of you've been through it's good to have someone to hold on to. Phil would've loved her” The last bit hurt to hear, if Phil was here he'd be spoiling Maggie rotten but he wasn't.

“he really would have” The words stuck in Clint's throat, he didn't know how else to respond.

The sound of a spoon clattering onto the table jolted them into looking at the source of the disruption. Maggie stared blankly forward, her eyes unfocused and body frozen in place. She stayed like that for a moment and then she started to speak, her voice different as if an adult was saying the words.

“Iron will fall from the sky like snow, marking a new beginning for its wielder” Maggie collapsed as she finished, small body trembling. “I don't feel good, can I go to bed?” she whimpered her voice back to normal. Clint and Laura shared a look of confusion before he did as Maggie asked and picked her up. Taking her upstairs he carried her to the master bedroom, he'd barely gone inside any time he had downtime. Opening the door Clint breathed in the mix of his and Phil's scent. The ache of the loss still throbbed, last week he'd no idea how he was gonna keep going but now with comforting weight of Maggie in his arms Clint realized the pain faded a little bit. Shifting her slightly Clint pulled the covers back on his side of the bed and gently set Maggie down. Tucking her in he kissed her forehead.

“Goodnight and sweet dreams Maggie, love you” as Clint went to turn off the light he heard crying behind him. Returning to the bed he found the small bundle sobbing, tears and snot mingled as it streamed down her face while she tried to stifle the noise with a pillow. “are you okay sweetie? Did I do something wrong?”

Maggie shook her head, she wiped the mess off her face with the back of her hand while trying to hide at the same time. “You're gonna send me back now, I didn't want you to see the bad thing but you did and now you won't want me anymore”

“Maggie I'd never ever do that, I'm afraid you're stuck with me. Honestly what ever happened at dinner isn't the weirdest thing I've seen. I'll tell you more about it tomorrow but you need to sleep. I'll be back as soon as possible.”

This time Clint waited until Maggie's labored breathing turned even as exhaustion overtook her. Quietly he crept out the room and went back downstairs. Laura stood at the sink washing up, her demeanor change different from the usual light hearted warmth she emitted to a more serious attitude. Clint took the space next to her, grabbing a tea towel he started to dry up the clean dishes.

“Have you thought this through, bringing up a kid is hard especially on your own” Laura's voice came out cold and calculated.

“Me and Phil had been talking about it, I think I can handle it fine.” Clint tried to stay upbeat but he didn't like how this conversation was going.

“Except Phil isn't here anymore, I'm sorry Clint but you've never been the most responsible person. Are you honestly going to cope without him here.” And womp there it was, all joy drained out of Clint.

Dropping the towel in his hand he angrily answered “Okay, I fucking know I'm an irresponsible piece of crap and Phil was the person to count on when shit went sideways but like you said he's gone. He's gone and not coming back and it kills me every time I think I hear him at the door or when I look up expecting to see him next to me. Don't need to rub salt in the wounds.” he kept his tone low but his anger and sadness bled through.

Laura put down the dishes in her hand and leant on the counter, when she finally spoke she sounded apologetic “I'm sorry I said that Clint, I just needed to make sure you were serious about Maggie. You know me I always believe in what you can do. I mean you looked after me plenty growing up. It just makes my resolve to stay and help take care of Maggie when you have work stronger.”

“You don't have to do that. I don't want you giving up your job to bail me out.”

“Look Clint on the drive here I decided I was going to stay permanently. I need a break from teaching at schools, it's overwhelming me and starting to take its toll. My boss actually forced me to take a break after I had a panic attack during a lesson. Me quitting was a long time coming” Her face fell as she spoke.

Clint tried to remember the last time he'd phoned Laura just to talk her, then he realized it'd been months since he called just to see how she was doing. Pulling her into a hug Clint replied “I didn't know it'd gotten that bad. I got so caught up with my own problems I forgot about you. I'm sorry I've been a shitty brother”

“Don't apologize, I deliberately said nothing because of what you had on your plate. We're both here for each other now and that's all that matters. Now we need to finish the dishes and then we can talk about how much you're gonna pay me to teach your daughter to read and write” the happy sister Clint knew and loved started to return. Laura turned back to the sink and began cleaning up the pot used for dinner.

Quick as a whip Clint shot back “Oh I'm paying you now and I thought this was a gesture of goodwill not a shake down of your good old brother”

“If I ever learnt anything from Natasha it's don't do anything unless you're getting paid for it. I want me some of that sweet sweet Shield money.”

“I'm full of shock and horror you only want me for my money. I never should've introduced you to her, she's taught you bad things” Clint cracked a smile as Laura handed him the pot to dry. They stood in silence for a moment before in a more serious tone said “but I'm really happy you are staying, I don't think I could live in this house on my own. It feels too big with just me”

“It's fine, tomorrow you can tell me what Maggie said at dinner that spooked you so badly. But I'm tired from driving halfway across the country to help your ass out. Night Clint, love you” Laura kissed him on the cheek as she threw the wet tea towel on his head. Laughing as she retreated quickly upstairs before he could retaliate. Clint pulled it off and tossed it onto the counter, having his sister around always made things better. They may have argued like cats and dogs as children but they'd always been close, he counted on her as much as Natasha. Without Phil around they took over being his pillars of strength and propped him up.

Now on his own Clint allowed himself to be sad. Slowly he walked to the one room he been avoiding most of all. Pushing the door open a crack he waited a moment before squeezing himself through it. Phil's study was the same as ever, random collectibles and pictures cluttered every surface. Most of the things in here had more sentimental value than monetary, bits and pieces collected on missions or from vacations. Clint made a beeline to the part of the room that held the most beloved items, finally he found what he was looking for. The picture Natasha had taken the day they'd gotten married, Clint wearing a ridiculous purple suit with an expression to match and Phil looking impeccable in his tailored suit. Picking it up Clint sat on the floor with it in his hands, while stroking Phil's face he talked.

“Hey Phil, it's weird you've been gone for over a month and sometimes I still feel you near me. Everyone at Shield misses you a lot but not as much as I do. It's like I'm missing a limb and I just keep limping forward expecting it to grow back when it never will.” Clint smirked as he imagined the other side of the conversation, “Don't worry, I'm not gonna do anything stupid to be with you again. Even if it physically hurts sometimes I miss you so much. On a good note though I adopted a kid, she's the sweetest little thing ever. I named her after Peggy Carter cause I know how much you looked up to her, I call her Maggie for short. I wish you could meet her, you'd adore her as much as I do and she'd love you.” tears dripped on to the picture as Clint brought it to his face and kissed the frozen smile of Phil. “I'll always love you and I will go through each day knowing you do too, goodnight Phil I'll see you in my dreams”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun with this chapter, it's nice to fill out a character that was pretty much a blank slate
> 
> also did you think Maggie was gonna be a normal kid, nope there is more to her than meets the eye
> 
> please comment and Kudos, it means a lot


	3. She wants the silence but fears the solitude She wants to be alone and together with you

Clint's time off was up, he needed to get packed ready to leave early the next morning. In the last two weeks Maggie had come a long way, she'd learned enough English for her to understand Laura and seemed to becoming at ease in her new home. She still preferred to stick beside Clint like glue whenever she could get away with it. Except right at this moment she sat in her new room crying herself hoarse because he was leaving. The situation heartbreaking and shitty Clint couldn't do anything to fix it, Shield needed him more than ever to help clean the fallout. Stuffing the last of his crap into professional black suitcase he used for work Clint zipped it up and carried it out of his room, leaving it by the top the stairs. Taking a moment to catch his breath before he tried to talk to Maggie. Standing outside her bedroom door Clint opened it enough to slip through, the once bland spare room had taken on a massive transformation since he'd brought her home last week. Everything inside it was chosen by Maggie including the paint, a mess of varying colours and themes bombarded the eyesight. Dark glittery purple adorned the walls while the new rug on the floor was a giant cloud. The two white bookcases leaning against wall were covered in books Laura had ordered and some little knick knacks Maggie had picked up while shopping. Her new toys spread out on the floor, a mixture of barbies and the new avenger action figures. Her favourite being his and Captain America. It surprised him how quickly they'd been licensed and explaining to Maggie about the Avengers had been a fun afternoon.

He found Maggie lying on her bed, hidden under a blanket. Clint could hear the quiet sobs she made every so often, it broke his heart. Sitting on the end of the bed he kept silent, waiting for her to get used to his presence before explaining things. Popping her head out Maggie gazed at him with tear stained eyes.

“I want you to stay” this wasn't a request but a demand.

“I wish I could sweetie but I have a job to do. I need to keep the world safe for you. I'll try to come back as often as I can.”

Clint tried his best to comfort Maggie by rubbing her back, she leant into the touch and replied “Promise?”

“promise” he would never break this vow, he'd put all his effort into coming home at least once a month and if Clint couldn't he'd phone, video call, anything to put Maggie at ease as she got used to her new life.

***

Clint couldn't be there at Maggie's first Halloween, a mission came up at short notice that he was needed for. The last time he'd spoken to Laura she'd informed him that the only thing she wanted to dress up as Captain America. After having a tantrum over the fact the costume sold in stores wasn't accurate and that she wanted to be Battle of New York Cap Laura had given in. Sending pictures of sad faces as she sewed up the ridiculously detailed costume and asking him to send pics of Cap's shield so she could make sure it was accurate. Maggie could be a tiny little Satan if something wasn't right in her eyes. Clint getting some down time checked his phone, Halloween had been yesterday and finally he could get a look at the full costume. A tiny face popped up in his notifications as he booted up his civilian phone. Holding a pumpkin bucket in one hand and a perfect replica of Cap's shield in the other as Maggie grinned, showing off her superbly finished Captain America suit. The next picture showed her pushing a green and gold blur and the accompanying text read Kid dressed as Loki was being a dick so she pushed him, I dunno if I should punish or praise her. Clint buckled over laughing for over 10 minutes before punching in a reply between giggling fits Praise her, that kid had it coming for choosing a horrible costume. The next few hours Clint spent chuckling under his breath at his daughter's behavior and searching out Nat to show her. When he got home that kid was getting a the biggest stuffed bear Clint could find.

***

On Christmas day Clint found out what Maggie said during dinner months earlier had come true. He'd received a call from Natasha after he'd put a very sleepy Maggie to bed. Her first Christmas a tiring affair, Maggie had eaten so much candy she'd thrown up all over the kitchen floor. Clint had made a fuss of taking care of her forcing Laura to clean it up. He might love Magpie with all his heart but he drew the line at puke. Closing the door Clint answered his vibrating cell phone in a hushed tone.

“What's up, I'm not due for duty for another few days” he asked breezily as he went into his room for privacy.

Natasha's cool voice replied “Clint, Stark's destroyed all his suits in a massive firework show. I think you should know cause of what you told me Maggie said. He pretty much told Shield he's taking a break from being Iron Man and to direct everything to either Shield or War Machine.”

“Shit, it must be a fluke right? She couldn't have known” Clint tried to remain calm as thoughts over Maggie's safety overwhelmed him.

“Maybe, if you're worried you could always bring her in to be tested.”

He accidentally raised his voice at that idea “Fuck no, She's off Shield's books and will remain that way.” Clint took a deep breath and in a low tone continued “We've both seen how they treat people who are different. I'll keep an eye on it and if it happens again I'll go call in a favor and get her checked until then no Shield”

“Fine, I'll talk to you later, Fury just walked in and he looks livid. I better find out why before he makes someone cry” the phone went dead in his ear and Clint stared at a wall. He hoped it was just a one time thing. Please let it be a one time thing.

***

On the anniversary of Phil's death Maggie found him broken down in Phil's study. She wrapped her little arms around him and comforted him. Laura had mentioned Maggie asking about Phil every so often, wanting to understand why his pictures were all over the house and why she wasn't allowed in here. Finally Clint shattered the dam keeping him from saying anything about Phil, hugging Maggie back he started to tell her stories on the man he'd called his husband. After hours of clinging together on the floor he accidentally let slip that if Phil had been still around he'd have been her Papa. Maggie's eyes widened in surprise before asking to call him Dad, when Clint nodded she grinned and gripped him tighter. Standing up Clint left the representation of his past and pain to begin again with Maggie. Her being his new future and hope.

***

Maggie's 7th birthday came around quickly, the only people at attendance was Clint, Laura and Natasha. During the last year her English had come along in leaps and bounds, only slipping into Russian when upset or angry. The scrawny little girl Clint had picked up was almost unrecognizable, she'd come into her own. He felt proud. They all tried mostly to forget Maggie's dead on prediction from last year until it happened again. As she unwrapped her last present her eyes unfocused.

Voice deep she whispered in a mixture of Russian and English, “When the stars align Darkness will try to take over only to be stopped by lightning incarnate.” Maggie's head then hit the table and she passed out. All 3 adults dropped everything and checked to see if she was still breathing, her eyes cracked open a slither making everyone sigh in relief. Clint picked Maggie up and took her upstairs to rest. In his mind he wondered if it was time to get Shield involved. He gently placed her into bed and kissed her forehead. Maggie's calm sleeping face made he choose to keep things quiet, no point crying wolf if turned out to be completely wrong.

***

November came around and Thor turned up again, bringing with him an almost world ending cataclysm involving some weird star shit and aliens wanting to cause the universe to turn dark. Clint made a note to tell Fury the next time his daughter had a vision.

***

The third time Maggie said three eagles would fall out the sky and an old threat resurfacing from within the body of an institution of good. Clint passed the message on and made sure he took time off when the Helicarriers were supposed to lift off. He didn't agree with project Insight and with his daughter's words ringing in his head he decided to jump ship from Shield. No point sticking around if Maggie turned out to be right.

***

And oh how right she was. Hydra, the motherfucking Nazi assholes had been in deep cover within Shield. Clint watched as one of the Helicarriers smashed into the Triskelion and felt glad Phil was no longer around to see this. Shield had been his baby and seeing it literally smash into a million pieces would've broken his heart. It seemed every time Maggie had a premonition it involved an Avenger some how. Maybe he should mention something to them but Clint decided to keep it quiet for now, just in case.

***

Standing outside on the balcony at Avenger's tower Clint swiped through the photos he kept on his personal phone. The transition of years stark as Maggie went from being the tiny shy kid Clint picked up too quickly growing up before his eyes. She'd turned 8 last birthday. Squealing in excitement as Laura brought out her Captain America shield cake, after learning about Phil Maggie had fallen further in love with Cap to try and feel closer to the ghost in their small family. She tried so hard to fill that gap with joy and laughter eventually Maggie understood it was impossible. Instead somehow just by being her she'd helped Clint get over the loss and to keep going forward. Smiling as he got to the photos from the fair, Maggie being Maggie she'd eaten too much candy floss then went on the Ferris wheel. She'd puked over the side and hit a bird. Clint never let her live it down.

Things changed suddenly a month after Maggie's birthday, she started to have really vivid nightmares. Waking Laura screaming her little lungs out every night since. Clint wished he could be at home to take care of her but 2 months after the Shield fiasco the Avengers had dragged him to live here. It was Halloween, Clint should be taking Maggie out trick or treating not hiding from the fancy party being held inside the common area. He hadn't found a way to sneak home without raising the suspicions of the resident A.I or Stark yet. Clint heard the glass door slide open, Natasha stood at his side and held his right arm.

“People have noticed you're not around, you need to go back inside”

Nodding Clint pocketed his phone and started to gear himself up to deal with people. As he moved to go back indoors he felt his cell phone vibrate, it took a couple times before Clint managed to both pull it out and answer it. Blood drained from his face, shit shit shit shit. Laura's voice broke as she gave him the news he'd been dreading since Shield fell, Maggie had predicted something else. She'd uttered a short sentence in that unearthly voice as she fell asleep.

“Death was coming”

Nothing else had ever come close to scaring Clint, he'd dealt with so much weird shit he thought he could handle anything. This frightened him above all else. Well now all he could do was wait.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say Maggie doesn't have god type premonition. It's sketchy as fuck and she barely knows she does it. Her dreams do have flashes of the future but most of the time she doesn't understand it. The gift itself is alien and from a distant ancestor.
> 
> I picked it cause it helped me bring the plot forward, I had some ideas of scenes in my head and I'm connecting them. 
> 
> Her birthday is 20th of June, the day Clint found her. 
> 
> Magpie's are also considered omens of bad luck 
> 
> Please comment it makes me feel less anxious that people think this is just a poorly thought out Mary Sue when actually I've put some real thought into her.


	4. So she ran to the lighthouse, hoped that it would help her see She saw that the lighthouse had been washed out to sea

When Barton had said a safe house Steve had thought something like the bunker Fury holed up in after faking his death last year, not some picture perfect farmhouse from a dream he'd long forgotten. Remnants of whatever that girl had done still swirled in Steve's mind as Barton led everyone through the front door. Inside the house everything was pure chaos with an edge of comfort. Books piled messily on shelves, toys scattered all over the place and photographs decorated the walls. A woman came walking out of the kitchen to greet them, he assumed she was Barton's wife up until his teammate said.

“Guy's I'd like you to meet my sis Laura” he cheerfully introduced.

With an arm wrapped round her Laura added “I already know all your names”  


“that's gotta be an agent” Stark mumbled from behind.

Small feet clattered down the stairs, running past the team a small girl went straight to Barton, forcing him to let go of Laura to catch her. Holding her in his arms Barton turned round to allow the girl to face the team. She appraised each team member with an unimpressed expression until her eyes met Steve's. Her face seemed impossibly young but her eyes gave away she'd seen more than any child should. For a moment Steve felt like he was looking into the past, the hardened steel in them exactly like Peggy's from all those years ago. She gave him a wolfish grin before wriggling out of Barton's grasp and running towards him.

“Holy shit, it's Captain America. Can I have you autograph. I can't fucking believe I'm meeting you” Steve short circuited from hearing a small child swear.

Barton sighed in annoyance as he spoke what appeared to be a well rehearsed argument “Mags what have I said about swearing in front of guests”

She rolled her eyes and replied “Only in Russian, sorry Dad”

“that's my girl. Now why don't we leave our guests to get comfortable and we go catch up upstairs. I've missed my Magpie terribly” Offering Steve an apologetic look Barton steered his daughter away from him and towards the stairs.  


The Avenger's were left to their own devices while their hosts were busy. Steve took the chance to look at his surroundings. Deciding to start with the wall of photos and keepsakes, he inspected what appeared to be the newest additions and began to look at the passage of time. As the girl in the pictures got younger Steve found a few stuck out, she beamed from one dressed fully in a fairly accurate Captain America costume holding a bag full of candy. In another she was blowing out the candles on a birthday cake made to look like his Shield. The older ones showed her a lot more sullen, hiding behind Barton's legs in most of them. A card stuck pride in place beside them peaked his interest. Gently pulling it open Steve read the inside.

 

_Congrats Barton, it's a girl. Take good care of her. Phil would've been proud_

_Fury_

Strange, why would Fury write such a personal card. The man Steve had known wasn't sentimental. As far away from that as possible if all their little encounters implied. The name Phil seemed familiar as well but he couldn't quite place a face to the name. From behind him a voice scared him out of his thoughts.

Natasha's cool voice answered one of the questions swirling around his mind, “Fury helped make Maggie legit after Clint found her on a mission. Since he owed Clint a favor. If you were wondering”

“Why?”

Natasha walked up the wall and pulled out a photograph tucked away in a corner, silently she handed it to him. Steve stared at it for what felt like an eternity. The person he'd been trying to remember finally clicked. Agent Phil Coulson smiled back at him from the photo. Wearing a purple tux Barton was leaning to kiss the other man on the cheek with a matching expression on his face. In the background Natasha chatted to another woman. Turning it over Steve felt his stomach drop as he red the words over and over again.

 

_Clint and Phil's wedding May 17th 2007_  


“I didn't know” the only words Steve could utter as he tried to pull himself back together from the bombshell.

“No one did, they chose to keep their relationship private, they didn't need Shield's rumor mill in their business. At work they were colleges and Agents, off the clock they were soppy assholes. Honesty they were the two people I thought would be together forever but like most things in life they were dealt a shitty hand.” Natasha's words came out lifeless, in a tone which spoke of something she wished was different.

Steve wondered how Barton had kept going even after losing his other half. They'd been teammates for years yet Steve barely knew him as a person. Now he stood in the man's home surrounded by the life he must live when off duty mixed with echoes of the past and regretted not trying harder to get to know him. Steve felt like he should apologize to the archer after finally understanding him better.  


Steve's face must've gave away his intentions because Natasha tersely told him “Don't even think about apologizing to him. He has Maggie and Laura and the Avenger's too. The past can't be changed but Clint chose to make the future better in Phil's memory and for Maggie. He's happy with what he has.”

Of course she was right, Barton had done everything he could to honor the sacrifice Coulson made. He kept the team together and grounded much better than Steve ever could. Apologizing for something obviously long buried wouldn't help anyone but himself. Steve hated when people did it to him, acting like they could understand losing an entire world and future. Everyone he'd known was either dead or dying and Steve still had no idea how to fit into the world. In his heart though he held onto the only person who would understand. Knowing the dream of them both being okay and happy a fool's one. Like Nat said sometimes people were just dealt a shitty hand.

 

***

  


Upstairs Clint opened up his closet while Maggie plonked herself on the bed. Grabbing a shirt he changed out of his battle gear. The last time he'd seen her was over a month ago and he wanted to squeeze as much time with her before he had to go. Almost finished Clint called out to her “how have you been Mags, missed me?”

Turning around he found his daughter sobbing her heart out, dropping the shirt in his hand Clint rushed to comfort Maggie. For five minutes he listened to the heartbreaking sounds of her crying until with a few hiccups she was done. “can you tell me what's got you all upset?”

“this all happened before in my dreams. You all came here and then went to fight that thing. It destroyed everything. Every time it ends the same with a gun fired at you. Please don't go, I need you more than they do.”

“Oh Maggie why didn't you tell us all this before? I know it's hard to understand but I'm an Avenger to keep the world safe for you. I've always promised to come home and once this is over I will. Okay?”

Maggie nodded, eyes still red rimmed and snot streaming from her nose. Finding a tissue Clint forced her to blow her nose when she stiffened in his arms. The world stayed still for a moment than a unwelcome voice started to speak.

“Wounded the missing Avenger returns home to face the family he left behind only to find everything changed while he stayed vanished.” Maggie went limp in Clint arms as he thought over her words.

Missing Avenger? That made no sense, everyone on the team was accounted for. Except the person whose sacrifice had glued them together all those years back. Then it hit Clint. Shit. Fuck. It couldn't be true. The lingering doubts over Phil's death Clint had forced to the back of his mind came barreling forward. Shield suspiciously losing Lola after New York and the entirety of Phil's old spy gear also went missing not long afterwards. Fuck there'd even been rumors of a new team dealing with strange emergencies which sounded familiar to something Phil had always to get off the ground but could never persuade Fury to do. Not unless Fury needed to make up for a fuck up. And dying was the biggest fuck up of them all. Once upon a time Clint believed if something happened they'd find a way to contact each other even gagged under an order from Fury but Shield fell and he stopped trusting anything to do with the organization. Maggie stirred in his arms, still pale from her premonition. Kissing her forehead Clint worried over the implications this would cause. Anger welled up from inside him, later much later he'd feel happy about the love of his life being alive but right now he needed the rage to be able to face the oncoming battles.

 

The gunshots had come out of nowhere, for a split second Clint wondered if this was going to be how he died. With so many things left undone or said. He'd never properly said goodbye to Maggie, she'd still been out of it when the team chose to leave. And the whole business with Phil hung around still hung around. At least the boy in his arms would be safe. Then a blurred moment later Clint watched as the bullets pierced through Pietro, a grin plastered on his face as he died. He cursed the stupid kid for saving him but also thanked him. Reuniting brother with sister Clint then dragged his teammate's body onto a transporter before collapsing. Thoughts circled around his mind, he'd come way too close to dying for comfort and Maggie's vision. Finally he understood that his war was over, Clint needed to take a break away from the Avengers. If not for his sake but for his daughter's, as soon as things settled he'd hand in his resignation. He couldn't keep being the Avenger's bandaid over their own personal issues. Staring up at the sky he knew it was time for another new beginning.

 

It'd been a week since Clint had handed in his retirement and returned home. He thought he'd find it boring without the Avenger's around him but surprisingly Maggie kept him busy enough for him to not really notice. After the visit from him teammates she'd adamantly wanted to learn how to use a bow, forcing him to buy her a Nerf one. Once Maggie's normal classes were done for the day father and daughter would head out back to practice. Even with the handicap the bow had she could already hit a target decently. Honestly teaching her was some of the most fun Clint had in months if not years. It helped keep his mind off of the information Nat managed to beat out of Fury. Shield survived Hydra by the skin of it's teeth, Phil being the main reason behind that. An experimental treatment had brought him back to life but because of the side effects Phil had to stay away in case he became a liability. It fucking killed Clint to learn of the memory overwrite, messing with people's brains always ended badly for all involved and it being done to one of best men he ever knew hurt. He wondered if that was the injury Maggie warned about. The only way to know for sure was to wait for the man himself to return, until then Clint would keep going forward as he'd always done.

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the long wait a lot of stuff happened. I had a convention to go to then I got addicted to Mystic Messenger. my energy just wasn't at its peak so nothing got done. I hope you enjoy this chapter and please leave me kudos and comments <3


	5. I wanna give you back the open sky

Surrounded by darkness Phil sat going over old files on the Toolbox with a fine toothed comb. Ever since he'd woken up from surgery to neaten his stump, a word he doubted he'd ever get comfortable using Phil had felt an itch under his skin. An urge to return somewhere he'd laid to rest years ago. He'd buried the past the moment he woke up after T.A.H.I.T.I when he actually believe he visited the place. Throwing himself into work rather than dwell on things he couldn't have. Maybe seeing Melinda and Andrew reconciling was the catalyst. If they could try and make it work after so many years, why couldn't he do the same with Clint. Or maybe Phil had been lying to himself for so long he started to believe his own bullshit. Honestly he didn't want to deal with the heartbreak in his husband's eyes when told the truth, couldn't bear it if Clint chose to walk away instead of waiting for the truth. The idea Clint might abandon him even after all they'd been through haunted Phil. Better to remain dead than break the silence and learn the truth.

 

Losing Jemma had been a huge blow to the base's morale, hitting Fitz the hardest as he ran himself ragged to try and bring her back. Phil wondered if Clint had been like that in the aftermath of New York or if he just kept on moving forward. During the day things weren't too bad, new inhumans popping up meant he was too busy to concentrate on his personal life or lack thereof. At night things were a lot different, the quietness unnerving him as he tried to go to sleep. Instead intrusive thoughts plagued Phil, memories of the past mixed with inner doubts. It's why at 3 am Phil found himself in his office doing mindless busy work. Well checking if New Shield hadn't done irreparable damage to the Toolbox was important, just not something Phil needed to do now. As he finished reading the billionth mission invoice Phil stumbled across Fury's private Avenger reports, different from the old official files due to not being scrubbed of his predecessor's colourful commentary. Clicking on the first one Phil lost himself in the nostalgia, after Fury went on his third tangent about Stark's behavior he found Clint's file. Phil had compartmentalized his life into 2 chunks, now and before he died. Easier to act like his presence in the Avengers initiative hadn't mattered and that Shield needed him more than recall what he'd given up. Skimming over the familiar file Phil smiled sadly as he read his own name, _Spouse: Coulson,Phil. Status: Deceased (File classified to Level 7 and above)._ Further down Phil found something which sent him reeling. Under family/children a new entry had been added. In stark black and white the name Barton, M.F stared back at him from the screen. Hovering over the name Phil found he could click on it, the toolkit beeped as it asked for extra security clearance. Allowing his eye to be scanned a new report popped up, reading the first lines Phil realized the majority of it was written by Natasha.

  


_Assessment of Subject Magpie_

  


_07/01/2012_

_Agent B came to me over an anomaly with his daughter's behavior. During her first dinner at his private residence she said in Russian “Iron will fall from the sky like snow, marking a new beginning for its wielder” then collapsed. Since the situation on how he found her is unusual I think the best of plan of action is to keep an eye on her to see if this turns out to be anything important._

_Agent Romanoff_  


_12/25/2012_

_B's daughter accurately predicted what happened on the Norco, B has refused to bring Magpie into Shield to have her checked out by in house doctor's. Wanting her to remain hidden from Shield's books as requested from the beginning. I'll keep monitoring the situation to see if this was a fluke or not._

_Agent Romanoff_  


_06/20/2013_

_Magpie had another episode, this time I was there to witness it. In broken English and Russian she managed to spit out “When the stars align Darkness will try to take over only to be stopped by lightning incarnate,” before passing out and hitting her head on the table. B still refusing to cooperate to have her looked at. My own judgement agrees with him, she's not shown any long term effects from her fits and it would traumatize an already fragile child to get samples for testing._

_Agent Romanoff_  
  


_11/04/2013_

_Seeing how close Magpie's description of the Convergence was I'm inclined to believe she has minor precognitive abilities. B is even more determined now to not allow Shield near her but now has conceded on to inform you directly if Magpie has another episode._

_Agent Romanoff_  


_02/20/2014_

_Since Magpie has made a prediction intimately to do with the organization it won't be written down on any official Shield systems. B has taken himself out of the situation due to disagreements on current classified projects and has been sworn to secrecy over his child's prediction. B is to remain radio silent with Shield until further notice and is officially on leave. Due to the nature of this file restrictions will be placed to keep any nosy people out and to keep the subject safe as promised._

_Director Fury_  
  


Scrolling further down Phil tried to find more logs instead the report cut off cleanly. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize what happened, the last date matched up to 2 months before Hydra came out the woodworm. Who ever Magpie was she had true precognition unlike the Clairvoyant. Though it would take someone intimate with Clint to realize the report revolved around him and his anonymous daughter. Clint had seen how people with gifts were treated by Shield and whenever he could manage it without getting in trouble he'd let them slip away. As long as they weren't overtly dangerous he believed they deserved to live a normal life without Shield's input. It'd been a source of contention between Clint and Phil, causing several arguments over the years. A plan formulated in Phil's head, the best way to learn more about the report would be to talk to the person who wrote it. If anything he could frame it as wanting to see if the farmhouse was free so he could take a break. Grabbing his phone Phil broke one of his biggest rules he'd imposed on himself. He called Natasha.

 

As the phone rang in his ear Phil remembered the time, it was almost 4 in the morning. He contemplated the amount of time he'd spent going over how this conversation would go. Phil missed Natasha, she'd been one of the few people he truly trusted with not just his life but Clint's. There were so many things he wanted to tell her but when Phil heard the call being picked up his mind went blank. Somehow he managed to choke out the next few words “Natasha? It's me.”

 

The silence between them stretched out for what felt like hours before it broke. “What do you want?” Natasha spoke the words in her mission voice, cold, deadly and emotionless. A stab of guilt flared within Phil, he'd done this. He burned this relationship like all his others, with Clint. It really didn't surprise him that she knew he was alive.

 

Choosing to cut straight to the chase Phil blurted out “is Clint still living at Avenger's tower?” God that felt strange to say, years back it'd been Stark's vanity project and now it stood as a beacon for what the team stood for, what Shield had stood for. “we need a safe house off the radar and I wanted to see if the farmhouse was free” Phil really didn't need to add on that explanation but he felt like he needed to justify himself to Natasha.

 

“Clint quit two weeks ago so no the house isn't free. Can I ask why you're wanting to know now cause this could've waited til later.” she said bluntly sending Phil reeling.

 

“actually I found one of your old reports and wanted more information on it. Who's Magpie?” for a moment he thought she'd hung up on him. Then she talked again.

 

“Nope, not telling you. That is between me, Clint and Fury. Go home Phil, go home to your husband and talk to him instead of asking me for info I can't give out. He won't care if you turn up unannounced even if you bring people as long as it's you at the front of them”  


“thanks Natasha, sorry for waking you up. I'm going to go talk things over with my people and see when I can go back. Honestly I've missed you and I regret waiting so long to reach out” Phil really did, Natasha never judged harshly, she was fair and brutal when needed to be but if you gained her trust she would do anything for you.

 

“I missed you too Phil,” she sweetly said, “but break Clint's heart again and I will cut your Achilles heel,” she spat out with pure venom before the phone went dead in his ear. Giving up on getting anymore work done Phil placed the phone back on his desk and turned off the Toolbox. Tomorrow would be tiring day.

  


_A few weeks later_

 

Phil gathered his courage to unlock the front door before his team started to grumble. Out of the whole base only 4 of them had been able to make the trip with him. Mack and Daisy followed him without question, Fitz was coerced into taking a break from his grief and Bobbi forced Lance to tag along. After growing sick of him at her bedside and threatened to hurt him if he didn't give her a break. Turning the key he thought he'd never use again, Phil opened the door and stepped inside. Soon he found himself immersed and overwhelmed by finally being home. At first Phil could only see the parts he knew far too well, like the stupid bird statue Clint gleefully found on a mission in China and smuggled back into the USA sitting on a side table. Old souvenirs from the few holidays they'd taken together cluttered the bookshelves they were placed on years ago. Even the old worn and patched chair inherited from Clint's first apartment held its vigil by the archer's favourite window. Then the nostalgia clouding Phil's vision faded away to let him really see the place he'd once called home. The unmistakable clutter of a child was everywhere. Dolls of varying colours were having a tea party attended by Thor and Hulk action figures on the same table as Sir Ruffles the Third (Phil still didn't understand the stupid names Clint gave things). Stuffed animals had overtaken Clint's chair but the biggest change was to the wall dedicated to photos. It'd exploded since the last time he'd seen it. Now a child's drawings were pinned next to certificates and a mountain of photos he was pretty sure would show the artist behind the drawings.

  


On autopilot Phil signaled his team to come in while he walked further inside. As Phil got closer to the photos he heard something whistle past his head and thwacked into the wall. Turning in the direction of where the projectile had come from Phil found himself face to face with a petite girl aiming a bright pink and blue bow at him. She stared at him unnervingly, dark hair damp and hanging limply down her back. She wore a red, white and blue onesie which on further inspection appeared to be Captain America themed. She refused to break eye contact with Phil and kept her bow trained on him before screaming “Dad, we've got company.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update, over Christmas I had to deal with some major family drama making it impossible to write. since things have calmed down I feel inspired. originally this was gonna be a lot longer but decided to break the chapters up.
> 
> I'm excited as well next month I get to go to a convention and I am cosplaying Hawkeye but kinda ridiculously cause that's how I roll. I need to make some stuff to go with it.
> 
> fun fact the Nerf bow Maggie uses is the one I own for said cosplay. it's fucking amazing and named Charlene. 
> 
> anyway thanks for reading and if you want to contact me on tumblr my urls are Pokemon-Pop-Princess and SaturnSilenceAO3


	6. Give you back the open sea

Covered in flour Clint placed the last batch of cupcakes into the oven, hoping the 6 batches he'd baked would be enough for a super soldier and his other teammate's. Because he'd been stupid and promised his daughter that the Avenger's would gladly come to her birthday party. The last few hours were spent in a hectic caffeine fueled blur after remembering he was in charge Maggie's cake this year. Clint had no else but himself to blame seeing as he'd forced Laura on a 2 week vacation so he could spend some long awaited quality time with Magpie. Dumping dishes into the sink Clint started to wash up while the cupcakes baked, as he cleaned up the huge mixing bowl he heard Maggie scream. Years of training kicked in as Clint grabbed his nearest gun and crept into the other room. All tension in his body vanished when he saw what the fuss was about.

Lowering his gun Clint moved forward slightly to get a better look at Phil. The years apart showed on Phil's face, large bags had taken residence under his eyes and his skin was far to pale for Clint's liking. Then he saw the sling and recognized Phil hadn't come home in one piece. The sling hid most of the damage but Clint could tell that the arm had been amputated just below the elbow, whatever happened was recent at least. Not noticing Clint's arrival Phil continued having a staring contest with Maggie. Which to be honest was hilarious as they sized each other up. Maggie for her height could be terrifying even without a weapon in her hands and Phil just seemed mildly amused. Stowing his gun into the frilly purple apron Clint walked in front of Maggie and grabbed front of Phil's tieless shirt. Forcing the other man into a kiss. More life affirming than romantic Clint sought the comfort he thought he lost 4 years ago to an asshole of a demigod. He found what he'd been missing, solid, real and here. Ending it with a bite Clint stepped back out of Phil's reach.

“You are a goddamn asshole, later you can explain to me why you didn't feel the need to contact me for 4 fucking years but we have guests.” finally acknowledging the stunned bystanders in the room Clint grinned and introduced himself, “Hi I'm Clint, ex Shield agent, ex Avenger and apparently now ex widower and this” he grabbed Maggie who gave an indignant huff as forced the bow out her hands before finishing “is my adorable daughter Maggie, don't be fooled by her grumpy expression she is a sweetheart. She's just not good with strangers.”

The other people in the room were currently looking back and forth between him and Phil. The 4 of them went through Clint's words carefully to understand what they just witnessed. Maggie broke out of his hold, bored already by everyone around her. Awkward silence took over the room as one by one realization dawned on each agent's face. The first one to get it was the big dude Clint vaguely recognized as being a Shield mechanic, damaging enough vehicles in his time to at least know most of them by sight. The young guy nearest the door appeared to be about to bolt, face downcast and heartbroken as if seeing them together brought up a fresh wound. Clint at least knew Lance by reputation as he'd married and divorced a friend of Natasha's, his expression stayed calm. The only girl out of all of them seemed to be internally screaming “what the fuck” while trying to remain courteous. The minutes stretched out, no one knowing how to interrupt the stalemate. Clint nervously coughed, pretty much drawing everyone's attention to him.

A moment later the girl had got into his personal space. She glared at Phil before in a passively aggressive sweet voice said “it's nice to meet you, my name is Daisy. Coulson never mentioned he was married to an Avenger or y'know married at all. I hope we're not imposing but the director told us this place was a safe house.” Clint watched Phil visibly squirm once his subordinate finished speaking. Already he liked this Daisy.

“Don't worry about it, my house is open to any friends that need somewhere to stay. Though fitting everyone in is gonna be hard, at least the Avengers are only coming down for the day,” the last bit came out of Clint's mouth without thinking, well they were going to find out eventually anyway.

“Wait the Avengers? Here?” Daisy's eyes lit up like a kid's on Christmas while Phil smiled fondly. Clint knew that smile, he only gave it to people he truly cared for. Well then this Daisy must be important just by the fact Phil trusted her.

“yeah Maggie's birthday is tomorrow and I kinda promised they'd come. Surprisingly they agreed. If you don't want don't want to be seen by them you can leave early tomorrow before my sister comes home,” he offered Phil an out just in case.

“No, I think it's time I face my past. I left a lot of things unsaid and I'm tired of running.”

Clint forgot how painfully earnest Phil could be, it made it hard to keep being annoyed at the man. Yeah he'd turned up at his door unannounced with Shield tagging a long but he'd come home. The tiredness on Phil's face alone spoke volumes on his physical and mental state. And judging by his agents demeanor some real shit had gone down. Before Clint could say anything a burning smell started to waft from the kitchen.

“Shit I better go deal with that, make yourselves at home. Food will be brought out in a bit,” Clint waved his hand towards the living area then gave directions to Magpie “Maggie you're sleeping in my room tonight so go strip your bed and grab anything you need. Also go to bed in 15 minutes, I'll come tuck you in soon.”

 

Running into the kitchen Clint took the burnt cupcakes out of the oven and cursed. At this rate he was going to need to make more, he probably had enough leftover ingredients for another batch or 2 but Laura was definitely gonna to have go shopping on her way home. Dropping the disaster of a pan into the sink Clint heard footsteps follow him into the room. Shedding his oven mitts Clint retrieved his phone out of the frilly apron and tapped off a quick text. Taking in a deep breath Clint waited a moment and then turned around.

Phil stood in the doorway, looking uncertain whether he should enter or not. Deciding to come in he asked “everything alright?”

“Yeah, it'll be fine. Don't worry about it” Clint replied, choosing to ignore the intrusion and started to prepare for a late dinner. He heard a chair being dragged back as Phil took a seat by the dinner table. Opening the fridge Clint searched for anything he could serve quickly. While still picking Phil started talking.

“so Maggie?”

“What about her?” He countered curtly. Grabbing several oven pizzas Clint put them on the side and pulled out extra baking pans from a cupboard. Mentally noting to get Laura to buy more.

“I just want to know more about her. She seems a nice kid,” Phil's voice sounded distant, like he knew something.

“She's more than nice, she's amazing. From the first day I found her she's surprised everyone on how resilient she is. I found Mags on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere, Russia. Half starved and covered in bruises, the orphanage didn't even bother to give her a name,” Clint smiled, enjoying the fact he could gush over his daughter. With how small his friend circle had become there were few people willing to listen to him go gaga about Maggie. Shoving the pizzas into the oven Clint set a timer on his phone and turned to face Phil. “So I kinda accidentally adopted her. Being undocumented it wasn't hard for Fury to make up the paperwork necessary to bring her over. We don't even know Magpie's real birthday, so we just celebrate the day she was found,” as he called Maggie by her nickname Phil's face twitched.

“interesting thing I found an assessment for someone with the moniker Magpie, any relation?” ah trust Phil to bring up that report. The one that caused both him and Natasha to fight with each other for over a month. It was sore source of contention between the 2 of them which took a strongly worded promise from Natasha and Fury to never let anyone know about Maggie.

Anger bubbled over as Clint half yelled, “I should've fucking known you only came back cause of something to do with Shield and not because you wanted to see me. Well you can fuck off, my kid is my business.”

It hurt to realize even 4 years later Phil still prioritized work over their relationship. Clint thought that how Phil had acted towards Daisy meant he'd changed, softened. But apparently no, he remained playing second fiddle to a half dead organization. He shut Phil down before the other man could speak, “Go deal with the agents camped out in my front room while I deal with dinner and sleeping arrangements. By the way you'll be sleeping in your old office. Now get the fuck out of my kitchen and leave me in peace”

Once alone Clint allowed himself a mini break down, he'd spent so long dreaming of Phil coming back he'd forgotten the bad parts of him. Like the self sacrificial, greater good bullshit or keeping an eye on gifted individuals that wouldn't hurt a fly. Maggie was his responsibility and no one else's. Counting to 10 Clint tried to calm himself down, it would worry his daughter if she saw him in this state. Just cause the love of his life had come home doesn't mean it should effect Maggie. Hearing his phone beep Clint broke out from his swirling emotions, taking the pizzas out he cut them up and went to bring them to his guests. All while trying to show that Phil's arrival hadn't upset his equilibrium.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so bit of a shorter chapter but it lets me breaks things up and write from a different point of view. they met at least even if Clint's being a little pissed off. proud of myself I manage to write a chapter within a week instead of not updating for a month hooray.
> 
> Thanks for reading this and sticking with my while I fight my own brain to get words down. Aphasia is one hell of a writing handicap. yeah like Fitz but with more forgetting words as I am writing and spending half an hour trying to remember the fucking thing.  
> also it never goes away like it did in the show, it stays around constantly haunting conversations.


	7. Open up the ages, darling, for you to see

Standing outside the kitchen Phil realized he'd made a fatal misstep in his discussion with Clint. After being together for so long he thought he knew how Clint worked, obviously his absence changed a lot more between the two of them. Things started off so well too, Phil hadn't expected such a warm welcome. The kiss felt like all the other ones they'd shared after missions, a way of confirming that they were both okay. A ritual regretfully left unfulfilled in the aftermath of New York and that knowledge turned his insides numb. Moving away from the door Phil went to sit next to Daisy, staying unnaturally quiet as he tried to come up with some amazing way to apologize. Clint came out not long after to serve everyone food, a cheerful mask plastered on his face Phil could easily see through. Once he finished setting everything down on the coffee table Clint bolted upstairs. Leaving everyone to start eating, as conversation began to flow Phil just stared at the wall and ignored the plate of pizza on his lap.

When he didn't respond to a question for a third time Daisy looked at him and understood something was up. Quietly so to not alert the others she asked “You alright Coulson, you've not touched your food?”

Shaking himself out of his fugue Phil took a moment to reply “I'm not hungry, I feel pretty tired so I think I'm gonna talk to Clint before I head to bed. I'll see you in the morning.” Phil left the team to keep eating and enjoy themselves, he needed to find a way to make it up to Clint and the only way would be to buck up and speak to him.  
  


Leaning on a wall, Phil tried to feel less like an intruder in his own home as he watched Clint do the mundane task of settling his daughter off to sleep through a gap in the door to the master bedroom. It felt strange to see such a domestic scene, how many times had they thought about kids before deciding not to when both of them refused to give up fieldwork. It felt like such a lifetime ago and here was Clint living what once had been their shared dream. Tucking the girl into the large bed Clint began asking her questions “Brushed your teeth?”

Maggie nodded as he continued his interrogation “Got Tippy Toes out of your room and stripped your bed?”

A bright pink chipmunk made an appearance as she answered “Yes yes, I did everything while you were busy shouting at Papa.”

Clint seemed exasperated at her reply, “You heard that? What have I told you about listening in on adult conversations,” ending his words with a well rehearsed line.

“my name was mentioned and you only shout when upset. So is this over my weird ability or does he just not like me,” sass bubbled through her speech as she sat up.

Sternly Clint ordered her “time for sleep, I'm not discussing this with you”

“Answered my question Dad, he doesn't like me,” Maggie's tone came out light though a slight undercurrent of pain betrayed her true feelings. Obviously she thought of Phil as some kind of father figure and of course Clint would've told her about him. She been around for the four years he'd stayed absent, probably only knowing about him through stories told by the people surrounding her. Phil wondered if he'd come back sooner he could have been apart of her life instead of being a ghost. Somewhere deep inside Phil felt a pang of loneliness and guilt.

“Nope, don't ever think that Maggie. Papa hasn't got to know you yet or understand your gift but he will. Who wouldn't love such a cute chickadee like you, hell you managed to even tame the greatly feared Black Widow so Papa should be a cakewalk,” Clint kissed Maggie on the forehead as he pushed her gently down, “Good night Mags, I love you so much.” A light clicked off and as Clint waited until Maggie fell asleep, only moving when her breathing had evened out. Closing the door gently behind him Clint gave Phil a death glare and ending any conversation before it started with “We're gonna talk about this outside where no one can hear us.”

 

Outside on the porch Phil relaxed and tried to gather his thoughts as he waited for Clint. He'd really missed the farm and the peace it offered. Staring up at the clear stars he began to put everything together. In the interim of his last visit Clint brought home an orphan he found on the street and by the fact he'd heard her name earlier Laura lived here too. Anxiety churned away in his abdomen as Phil started to regret his return, he couldn't forgive himself if he ruined everything Clint had built. He'd moved forward with his life while Phil had gone in an entirely different direction. When Clint finally came out to talk Phil had made his resolve to apologize.

“I'm sorry about earlier, I should've been more tactful in my approach. It's just been a long month for me and after I woke up from this” Phil half heartedly gestured with his stump “All I wanted to do was come home but I didn't know how. I've kept myself away with so many different reasons that finding the report gave me an excuse to come back. I hope you can find a way to forgive me and if you can't I'll leave and never bother you again.” He really meant the last bit, scanning the other man's expression Phil found only love and happiness he was here.

“Phil I forgave you last month when I found out you were alive, yes I was pissed but fighting a fuck tonne of evil robots helped get it out of my system.”

Surprise welled up from inside Phil, remarking “Wait you knew?”

“While I hate to admit it that report is right, Maggie has slight precognition. Nothing fancy, just a incident every year or so where she'll say some fancy words than collapse. Generally six months later it comes true. She told me last month you were coming home injured, Nat confirmed it after seeing Fury. I've been waiting ever since”

Overwhelmed Phil's mind went over the idea that for just as long as he wanted to come home Clint had been waiting. Relief spread through him as he embraced Clint and softly kissed him. Moving back slightly to reply “I'm sorry I took so long.”

“Don't beat yourself up about it, it's not like I've been alone. I've had Maggie and Laura as well as the Avengers,” Clint snuggled into Phil's shoulder, “I think I missed this the most, don't get me wrong seeing you kick ass is hot and all but you just being here makes me the most happiest.” they stayed glued to each other, enjoying the warmth between them. Phil stroked Clint's back with his right hand while bringing up the left one to stroke the other's cheek, breaking the spell as they both remembered Phil's injury. “what's the story behind that anyway and does it involve the reason why there's a Shield team currently eating my food in my living room”

Phil started to recount how he lost his hand, “Short version Mack my engineer hacked it off with an axe to save my life. Long version a group of enhanced individuals led by Skye's-”

“Skye?”

Fixing his mistake Phil went on with his explanation “Damn, I meant Daisy. Anyway Daisy's mother took over a ship and tried to kill everyone on board with a compound that turns anyone without a pre-existing alien gene into stone. A goon dropped one and my reaction was to catch it before it burst and killed anyone.”

“So you pulled the sacrificial stunt again. Not surprised but please go on, Who stopped Daisy's mom since it seems you were too busy getting dismembered.” Phil smiled at the wisecrack, things were finally starting to feel normal between the two of them.

“Since as you so eloquently put it wasn't there I'll give you the details I do know. Daisy stopped the plan by pushing the crate off the side of the ship with her newly acquired powers, Daisy's mom who at that point was mentally unbalanced tried to kill her. Her father another not particularly all there person saved Daisy by crushing her mother to death.”

“Well shit poor kid, no wonder she's picked you as her dad if her actual parents were that fucked up”

“She hasn't, I'm not,” Phil was too quick to put down any notion that Daisy thought of him as anything but her boss. She'd only found out and lost her parents recently, refusing to go near the territory of that kind of relationship in case it could hurt her.

“Phil sweetie, I love you but you can't be that dense. She gives you the same look I get from Maggie everyday, like it or not you're her father.” unable to argue with his reasoning Phil went back to what he knew best, Clint. Slowly losing himself in the feel of both of them reacquainting themselves with each other's bodies.

“can I ask you something?”

“Hmm, what?”

“Why does Maggie think of me as Papa?”

“She found me on the first anniversary of your death, I told her about you and you being her papa slipped out. I think by then she figured out something in the house wasn't right, like an important part gone missing. Afterwards Mags started to call me dad and tried to get closer to the memory of a parent she never met.”

Phil realized his question had broken a floodgate as Clint started to talk about Maggie. Like how she'd loved Captain America even before finding out how much Phil looked up to him and then getting even more obsessed as a way to get closer to him. How she'd picked up English and soon became fluent in French while also semi competent in several other languages. That recently she'd bugged Clint into learning archery and actually wasn't too bad at it. Phil even found himself privately proud at her full name. The amount of love in Clint's voice made him realize he'd actually like to get to know Maggie as more than just Clint's daughter but maybe his own.

“You've been quiet for a while, I want you to know I don't expect anything from you. Mags can find something else to call you if it makes you uncomfortable.”

“Actually I quite like it, she sounds wonderful and I regret not meeting her sooner. If you can talk so highly about her she must be special”

Clint grinned and held Phil tighter. The years between them falling away. They talked more trading stories of what they'd been up to in the intervening years. Phil had missed this easy going closeness, to everyone else he was Director of Shield, professional and the boss. Here though he could be vulnerable in front of one of the few people who really mattered to him. Eventually the spell broke when Daisy came looking for them. The couple begrudgingly separated and went to their different sleeping quarters, content knowing that they were on the road to fixing their relationship.

Groggily Phil began to wake up, disoriented it took him a moment to remember where he was. Sitting up he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes while glancing around the room. This had been his study primarily for personal items, mostly knick knacks with some semblance of sentimental importance. Someone had taken the time to dust everything but kept it all in the exact positions they'd started in. Even the sofa bed Phil was forced to buy by Clint so he wouldn't disturb his husband when he needed to work from home appeared cared for, the blankets fresh and spotless. The only major thing changed was the corner of the room where he'd put his most treasured photographs. Like the wall next door new ones had been added, most of them more intimate with Maggie, Clint and Laura beaming at the camera while one of them held a picture of Phil. He never realized how much of an impact he'd made on a child he never met when he spotted a drawing titled  _ My family _ is wonky letters. Several badly drawn figures stood in the middle, different colours the only thing denoting that they were separate people. What broke Phil's heart was that he'd been included, depicted in one of his signature suits he stood next to Clint while Maggie and Laura were placed on the other side. Sadness turned to humour as he recognized Captain America in the background throwing his shield. Pulling it off the wall Phil tucked the drawing into a pocket and left the office.

Since it was still early morning Phil expected to find the kitchen empty, instead Maggie sat at the table eating cereal and reading a book. Moving past her she barely acknowledged him as he went to grab a cup of coffee. Once he'd poured a cup Phil decided to sit opposite the girl. Comfortably they sat in silence, both waiting for the other to be the first one to speak. Taking out the drawing Phil smoothed it out and just looked at it. Eventually Maggie noticed what he was looking out and let out wounded howl, “Oh my God don't tell me you like that old picture, it's super crappy and I can do so much better then that now.”

“I dunno it has a nice charm to it. Should you really be swearing by the way? I don't want your father getting angry at me”

“Dad lets me as long as it's not in front of guests and even then I'm supposed to use Russian instead. And you're family so it doesn't count.”

“Well since I am the Director of Shield I know you're telling the truth.”

Cereal and book forgotten Maggie stared at him with barely hidden excitement, the mention of Shield appearing to be more important. Judging by her reaction she wasn't just a Captain America fan girl she was also a Shield one.

“Have you ever met Peggy Carter, I asked Uncle Fury but he refused to tell me. I'm pretty sure he likes appear mysterious even though I caught him crying at Toy Story the one time he babysat me.”

Phil snorted in surprise and knocked over his coffee cup spilling the contents on to the table, luckily he managed to save the drawing before it got drenched. Putting it to one side Phil tried to clean up the mess with his good hand, Maggie recognized his difficulty wiping with one hand and quickly grabbed some extra paper towels to help mop up.

Side eyeing his stump she asked, “Has Dad yelled at you about that yet cause if he has Aunt Laura told me Dad nearly died last month after being blasted with a laser and ended up having it fixed with some cool ass printer thing. Seeing as I'm not allowed to tell him off maybe you can, I'm already scared enough of losing him I don't need Dad being reckless.” Maggie dumped her bowl into the sink and watched him expectedly with a hint of worry in her eyes.

Phil knew the vague details on what happened when Loki's sceptre was recovered, Hill mentioned one of the Avengers had gotten injured during the attack but not that it had been Clint. One thing both Phil and Maggie could agree on was that Clint took too many stupid risks. Smiling he replied “Not yet but thank you for the information, I'll have a frank discussion about it later.”

“well since I'm gonna go practice with my bow in the barn you should join Dad upstairs and go back to sleep. He won't admit it himself but he really hates sleeping by himself and he's missed you, we've both missed you”

Before Phil could refuse Maggie had escaped out the back door leaving him alone with his thoughts. There were many reasons why it would be a bad idea to intrude on Clint without permission, they'd only just started to salvage their relationship. Then again how many nights had they spent apart, both wishing to wake up to each other. To hell with it, Clint could shout at him later right now Phil felt tired and sleeping cuddled up next to Clint sounded good. Standing up Phil pushed the chair back under the table and timidly made his way upstairs.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man this chapter was a bit hard to write. for some reason I kept getting stuck on the dialogue. Maggie's really evolved since I first made her, I'm super proud how she's come out. this has become my most kudos fic and I'm so glad people like it. it's been a labor of love and torment. there should be one more chapter left then it's finished though I may do a few one shots to tie it in with the newer films. also probably going to edit the older chapters to remove the errors I can find and fix things.
> 
> Anyway I went to a Convention last week and met some super nice people, my Hawkeye cosplay ended up more Hawkeye couture than anything else [Pics of it here.](http://pokemon-pop-princess.tumblr.com/post/157119861772/pic-dump-from-todays-con-had-tones-of-fun-and) yes that is a Nerf Rebelle bow and I made my own belt quivers. I had so much fun.
> 
> Thanks for reading as always it means a lot.


	8. Cause it's running in the family All the richer between you and me

 

Clint barely slipped into consciousness when the bed shifted next to him. Eyes closed his sleep addled brain supplied Maggie as the intruder after so many years of her being the only one to sneak in. Barely registering the fact they were far to big until with a soft smile moved closer to snuggle. Cracking open his eyes a slither Clint managed to make sense of the silhouette framed in the soft morning light. Sitting with his back against the bed frame Phil stared reverently down at him, expression unsure on whether to leave or stay. Clint left him to his internal battle for a few minutes before fully opening his eyes and muttering “Mornin'.”

Like a deer caught in the headlights Phil froze, his face almost comically surprised before turning guilty. “Sorry, you probably don't want me here, I'll just go” the words tumbled out of his mouth as he tried to slip away. Clint hadn't seen Phil this ruffled since he met Steve and word vomited everywhere. The memory plus his husband's hand in the cookie jar expression made Clint break down in laughter, grabbing the front of Phil's t shirt. Pinning him in place so he couldn't move an inch.

“Stop apologising, I don't mind you being here. Just don't expect any fun stuff, not yet anyway”

“I wasn't-”

Clint interrupted before Phil could finish, “I know babe, I'm messing with you a tiny bit. I really do want you to stay, so please stop panicking and come sleep. We have like an hour or so until we need to get up and deal with things and generally I'd much rather be well rested when dealing with the Avengers.” He let go of Phil's t shirt and rolled over to face the window. Watching the dust motes dance in the column of light coming from the crack in the curtains. Letting Phil decide on what he would do, it didn't take long for the bed to shift again as the other man got comfortable. Scooting just close enough so Clint could feel his breath on the back of his neck but leaving space so they wouldn't touch. That gap seemed to sum up the current state of their relationship, despite both craving the other's attention their was still a lot unsaid between them. Phil and him weren't naive teenagers, believing things could be reconciled without effort. It would take time for them to rebuild trust and the other things left in tatters from the last 4 years.

Later on the two of them would talk more as last night had barely scratched the surface on the issues needing resolution. For now Clint wanted one semi normal day where he could introduce the Avengers to his husband Phil instead of the Agent Coulson they'd been acquainted with. Gently he manoeuvred Phil's bad arm to rest around his waist, the easiest way Clint thought of showing he was fine being touched. Getting the hint Phil shuffled closer, blissfully bringing them together. Carefully Phil snuck his arm underneath Clint's shirt and started to stroke his stomach with his upper forearm while tenderly kissing the nape of his neck. Eyes closing from drowsiness Clint almost made it into dreamland until Phil said into his ear “Why does this patch of skin feel different, is this where you got shot?”

Clint face planted into his pillow and groaned, he'd hoped to keep that bit of knowledge to himself. Obviously Maggie had tattled on him. “That little traitor, she told you didn't she. My own daughter snitched on me.”

“how bad was it? I knew someone got hurt during the sceptre retrieval but not that it had been you” the worry in Phil's voice almost broke him. How could he answer without making it worse. That day he'd been distracted, mind on what that sceptre had done to him and Phil. How Loki destroyed him so thoroughly it took months to put himself together again and the pieces that he thought he'd never get back.

Clint grimaced and answered “Not as bad as Maggie might've made out. I was off my game for obvious reasons and as soon as it happened the team got me help before I lost too much blood. I don't even have a scar. Don't worry about it I'm fine.”

“I worry because I love you, I should've been there looking out for you so this type of thing never happened. I feel like I failed you”

“Babe it's too fucking early to deal with shitty regrets. Honestly I wouldn't change the last few years we've been apart. Now I want to get at least another hour of sleep before I have to deal with a bunch of emotionally stunted superheroes.” After everything Clint didn't want to look back on what could've been, it would be detrimental to his growth. Losing Phil was one of the worst moments of his life and not having him around had hurt more than could be imagined yet the good outweighed the bad. Finding Maggie, making a family with Avengers, learning how to be just Clint had been worth the loss. As Clint drifted into sleep finally he added “and I love you too you soppy idiot”

An hour and a half later Clint's phone began blaring out a long string of bleeps and vibrated, startling him awake. Reaching out towards the bedside table he fumbled around searching for the offending object, his hand eventually brushing a corner of it before knocking to the floor. Under his breath Clint swore as he stretched his torso out of bed to pick it up and to turn the damned thing off. Settling back he noticed Phil hadn't stirred a muscle. The more differences that showed up due to their separation the more things stayed the same. Feeling truly safe meant Phil was dead to the world, not on a hare trigger like on the job where things could go wrong in the blink of an eye. Christ thinking back on it the two of them spent most of their adult life constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop with only a few breaks here and there. Clint wondered if no when it'd happen again, he may have left the life but it had the nasty habit of dragging you back in. Escape was impossible in the long run. Phil would leave in few days, at most a week and then they'd return to the cycle of waiting for the other. Never really knowing if this could be the last time they saw each other.

Clint reluctantly got out of the tantalizing warmth of the bed to start his usual morning routine. Clean and dripping wet he stared at himself in the mirror as he shaved. The rhythmic movement of the razor settled him. As he finished he realized this time around everything felt somehow different, like something had changed enough to let him and Phil have some semblance of happiness. Yeah they might end up fighting in other people's wars but at the end of the day both of them knew their true alliance. If 4 years couldn't cut that bond the next few years would be easy in comparison, at least they knew each other was alive and fighting. Leaving the bathroom Clint went to grab clean clothes from the dresser, pulling the middle drawer open he grimaced at the contents. The interior was split into two by a wood partition, one side held Clint's clothing all bunched into a messy lump while the other had been designated for Phil. For the first few months deep within his grief and denial he'd refused to empty it, keeping to the cycle of washing the unworn clothes once a week as if Phil was just on duty and not dead. After Maggie had arrived on the scene the regularity of doing laundry for a dead man lessened yet at least a couple time a year Clint would haul everything out, wash it and ever so carefully put things back. Before finding out the truth he'd started to warm to the idea of either donating the clothes or putting them in storage as the reminder of his past became more painful. Clint had never been more glad of his hoarding tendencies until now, Phil's casual clothes still lined the other drawer. They were

relatively clean if not slightly musty, most of the time that wouldn't have been an issue. They'd both worn worse for missions except today Clint wanted Phil to look perfect and if doing so also let the Avenger's know his relationship status well that was an added bonus.

Pulling out two sets of clothes Clint dressed in a pair of old worn out jeans, a black tee, a purple button down shirt and a pair of hole filled socks. He then laid the other set carefully next to Phil's prone form and watched him roll over and snore. Clint wanted nothing more than to just stay here to creepily keep an eye on his husband but time was ticking on and he still had a bunch of things to get ready before the guests arrived. Leaving the room quietly Clint jogged down the stairs and into the kitchen. He ignored the inquisitive looking Daisy sitting on a counter eating cereal and began fetching the stuff needed for finishing off the cupcakes. As he started to mix the batter for the extra cakes he heard her broach the subject she'd probably been dying to know.

“So, you and Coulson are a thing then?”

Rolling his eyes Clint answered “Seeing as he put a ring on it yes, we're a thing. Why're you asking,” as he finished stirring and started to divide the mixture into cases.

“I've never seen him so comfortable with a person outside May, it's weird. I want to understand how you've never come up in conversation.” Ah now he got it, she'd couldn't figure out why Phil would hide such a big part of his life. Honestly Clint didn't have an answer for that, just the one on why Shield didn't know.

“Of course Mel's involved, should've guessed that when she vanished from desk duty.” Clint brought his hand to his face and rubbed his eyes, exasperated with the third degree “Me and Phil liked to keep our relationship private. Neither of us wanted accusations of Phil playing favourites after both of us worked our butt's off to get where we were.”

“Holy shit he was your boss wasn't he. You were screwing your superior officer,” Daisy exclaimed loud enough so that Clint almost dropped the baking pan as he shoved it in the oven. Fucking Christ the girl caught on quick.

 

Clint off guard replied “technically the screwing didn't happen until I'd gained the same clearance level as him and became just teammates. Now if you want to know any more grab an icing bag and help, there's four dozen cupcakes that need to be frosted to look like Cap's Shield and I have only two hands.”

“Fine, don't expect anything amazing I've never had to frost a cake before”

“We can feed them to Steve, he's far to polite to tell anyone their work looks like ass” After they stopped laughing the two of them started to chat over their task. For every anecdote Clint told of the Avengers, Daisy divulged things about Phil. An act of unspoken trade both of them knew far too well came from their respective jobs. Clint didn't mind her mining for all she could, he enjoyed her company and already she felt like family. Soon enough he learnt more than just the brief background Phil had given him the night before, he discovered she had a love of technology to rival Stark's and a smile that could light up a whole room. The clock ticked on and slowly the other agents made their way into the kitchen, to either eat in Lance's case, help in Mack's and to see what was happening in Fitz's. Chaos soon ensued until Laura came home with bags of shopping and Maggie at her heals, she didn't bat an eye at the gaggle of agents and instead with the ease of someone used to dealing with small children began directing them to help unpack. Clint looked down at the disaster the cupcakes had become, the third he'd been in charge of had slightly wonky yet passable Shields, Mack had managed to make his even and perfect while Daisy had gotten bored halfway through and Maggie helping her. Laura inspected the work done and gently pried the icing bag out of Clint's hand to salvage what she could and nudged him to go lay the table.

Halfway through the task he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket, pulling it out he unlocked it and read the text message from Natasha.

_Hey the team will be there in 20. everything still good to go?_

Quickly Clint replied.

_Yeah but one thing I have company, can you warn the relevant parties and try to stop a fight breaking out._

He didn't expect an answer back, Natasha probably knew who'd he was talking about and he had more pressing issues to deal with. He needed to read the riot act to his guests so no one would accidentally trigger something and cause a scene. Placing his fingers in his mouth he let out a whistle to get everyone's attention.

“Okay the Avengers are gonna be here soon so I need to give good warning to not act like assholes around them, I know each one of you understands PTSD to some extent so I'm being clear being a superhero tends to come hand in hand with crappy backgrounds and mental health issues,” Clint looked at each agent menacingly, trying to impart the importance of not pissing off his friends before continuing “So keep topics light, don't bring up any Avenger battle unless they do so first and what ever you please do not ruin Maggie's birthday party. Okay?” after getting a nod of understanding from Daisy, Mack, Lance and Fitz he left the kitchen to have 5 minutes peace before the rodeo started. The imminent collision of two worlds made his stomach turn in knots. Sitting on the sofa Clint grabbed a pillow and buried his face into it. Blocking the world out until he felt someone drag him away and into their arms. Clint didn't need to see to know it was Phil, the anxiety eating away at him had been one of the things Phil could pull him out of. Together they braced themselves before the oncoming storm. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long, let's just say my procrastination knows no bounds and I also ended up playing hella a lot of sims 4. this chapter is rough as hell but I'm tired and too lazy to edit. 
> 
> I also read the fraction run of the Hawkeye comics and loved them so if I do continue this on as a series I will be adding some nods to it.
> 
> sorry again and I love everyone who read this


End file.
